I must be too annoying 4 u.
brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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