Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize