so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
