can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize