i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
