Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
