Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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