Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
