I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Pooping to opera.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
