Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
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