I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
