ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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