I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
