8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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