Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
