so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
