Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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