it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
