I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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