return my video game
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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