Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
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