Need sex. Gaining weight.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
