What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
