Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
