The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
