Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
