i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
