I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
