i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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