Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
