even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
