6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
only you would photoshop your dick
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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