Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I currently don't understand fingers.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize