Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
