just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
