Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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