i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
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