Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
