Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
