I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
