and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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