bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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