Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
