I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
