Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
