i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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