I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
