U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize