I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
