Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
