it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
