Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
