I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
