Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
