love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
