you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
