too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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