I'm going to jail i love you
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
