I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Randomize