I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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