I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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