There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i love accidental penises.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
